We are passionate about one of our convictions—family planning. This is primarily because we feel it was an area that we were not informed about when we first got married. As we learned more, we realized how passively we and many of our friends were making decisions about their lives in this area. For the most part, everyone we knew was getting married and just prior to getting married the bride would go on the pill. This would continue until they were ready or had enough time alone to start a family. Not much thought was put into what or why or who about it. No one was talking about ethics or heart motivation. It seemed like it carried the same weight as what to wear in the morning. It’s just what people did. It was the awkward inheritance from previous generation.

We were forced—providentially and ever so lovingly by the Lord—to examine this immediately in our marriage, because I am allergic to birth control pills. Long story short, it was so severe that it was causing my body to shut down and mimic autoimmune diseases. Knowing the pill could not be an option for us, it lead us on a quest to find out about contraceptives. This was simultaneously at a time when we were allowing the gospel to bear weight in all areas of life. We also wanted to know what godly wisdom could be applied to family planning. This led to two major areas of concern for us in how we had been approaching this subject.

1) As we researched forms of birth control, we learned for the first time about the troubling possibilities of spontaneous abortions from the pill. This was information we hadn’t heard before. We were horrified not only at the information but also at our ignorance surrounding it. No one was talking about this. not doctors or older women or peers. It was also so very disconcerting that many Christian organizations and pastors knew of the possibility. Instead of erring on the side of protecting life, they took the stance that the “jury was out” so to say. They were basically consenting to believers using the pill. It was clear to us that as believers this was not an option at all. We should do all we could to protect life and the pill does not do that. Research has confirmed this time and again as the years went on. We have done what we could to share in love information about the pill for couples to prayerfully consider. It’s ease, accessibility and popularity make it a hard topic. Please research this and share the information.

2) the more we learned, the more fruitless our pursuits became. It became obvious it wasn’t about methods. God was showing us an underlining heart issue. God showed us our sin in trying to…or rather feeling like it was necessary to ….control our womb. The Lord very tenderly showed us how our pursuit of adoption while using birth control was our way of controlling something He already had in control and ordained. If He opens and closes wombs, why did we even think we could control this? No amount of trying was going to force a child to be created. (this clearly played out for us. both healthy but no baby for TEN years) For us, it is not about having the authority to “steward” this area. It was very clear that as we studied Scripture, we must release control of this area because God is faithful and creates each life on purpose. He would open and close our womb in His time and for His glory. Though it has not always been easy, He gave us great peace in this. It is not specifically about whether or not all couples should use or not use birth control. It is about mortifying our flesh, checking heart motivations and trusting God. We hope our testimony would be an example of this. Quite clearly our family—and many like ours–is a testimony of this. He kept our womb closed for 10 years. He blessed us over and again with our first four and then brought us Chet. His timing. For His Glory. We are a walking, conspicuous testimony of His tender love.

Every now and then, I feel compelled to share bits of our humble story in this area. Not to condemn or shame but merely to make sure as many people as possible have as much information as possible as they seek God in this area. Today it is specifically because I was so immensely encouraged to read this article from The Village Church. It is a loving exhortation and communication of truth in this area. I would love for every person in the Body of Christ to read through and pray through these areas—especially and specifically if you use or are considering using IUDs, birth control pills or IVF. May it all be for His glory.