I am loving seeing The Church rising up to meet the orphan and foster care crisis at the state level. Have you seen Project 127 in Colorado? Other states, including Arizona, are looking to duplicate their work. I think that is wonderful. Despite what critics say, the church is the answer to caring for orphans, domestically and globally. However, this is not a unicorn and rainbows kind of topic. You can’t love these kids hard enough and make all their wounds disappear. They are hurting. Deep aching kind of hurt that is beyond what many could fathom.
Some children that come home through adoption will settle in and attach…..about 1/3 according to Karyn Purvis. Another 1/3 will struggle, but will settle in in about a year. The last 1/3 will struggle for years. That is splitting up all kids. Not just the ones that will come home over 2 years of age. (So I always wonder how many of the ones that settle in right away are newborns. Just a thought).
I absolutely think kids need to be in homes. They need moms and dads. Group homes are no place for kids. Abuse is rampant and the system is under resourced. It feels like a holding tank.
However, I have huge reservations about just raising up families to take in kids. I am not sure the training is really in place to set new adoptive families up to succeed. I have asked the CO project about their training and have yet to hear back from them months later. Honestly, I don’t know if the right training even exists. I can’t imagine that anything out there right now is enough.
I can tell you whatever it is is not enough when it comes to RAD. I have encountered many social workers that don’t get it. I have seen huge cartoon bubbles hanging over the kid’s head in all caps screaming “I have RAD!!!” and they imply it is the foster parents problem. I have been with therapists trained in it and watched my RADish manipulate, triangulate and dupe them. It is not anyone’s fault really. It is nearly impossible to understand unless you have parented a child with RAD. It is an experiential knowledge unlike anything else because it really only comes out in the most intimate of the child’s relationships. It will not be seen on a visit or even in a few interactions.